I hate when you get into those low blow fights. The neither one of us is mature enough to admit we’re wrong fights.
Am I really not an artist like he says? Did I really say that he takes advantage?
Yes things are hard, but that’s life. I feel this love 10,000 times more than I’ve ever felt before.
Is it really over?
It’s easier alone.
I’m always trying to reconcile cause I instantly feel the sting in my chest. I’m a fighter and I need to know when to bite my tongue.
But I don’t need to hear it. I don’t need to have my flaws pointed out to me and be told that it’s not worth it.
In the past I had created things of beauty and now that I work a 9-5 I’m suddenly less valuable to humanity? I deserve love and beauty too.
Now I will sit in the dark and pick up my guitar. And be frustrated that his light shines brighter than mine. Angry that his soul is more rested today. I’ll drink the majority of this bottle of wine and repress thoughts of throwing this life away in exchange for a simpler one. a fantastical one.
I miss him when he’s gone. Even when he can’t fall asleep until 7am and I find him on the couch with a beach towel.
With this wine I release my anger. In it I’ll put the secret wish that he’ll come home before 3, so I can see him before real life sets in again.