“To him she seemed so beautiful, so seductive, so different from ordinary people, that he could not understand why no one was as disturbed as he by the clicking of her heels on the paving stones, why no one else’s heart was wild with the breeze stirred by the sighs of her veils, why everyone did not go mad with the movements of her braid, the flight of her hands, the gold of her laughter. He had not missed a single one of her gestures, not one of the indications of her character, but he did not dare approach her for fear of destroying the spell.”—
i feel like being pushed to the verge of madness has put me in a place where something great is bound to happen. like there will be glorious bursts of color and living will become an even bigger art form. my DNA has been reconfigured and in my wild state my cells are structured to be the most resilient. my body is at war with my spirit.
“Let others lead small lives, but not you. Let others argue over small things, but not you. Let others cry over small hurts, but not you. Let others leave their future in someone else’s hands, but not you.”—Jim Rohn
so i get to travel for my agency for the first time really. which is cool. i took the red eye to boston and i get to chill out til 3ish before i have to work a signing. guess i can’t shower or sleep until tonight. anybody got any good tips for cracked out business travel? i’m on coffee number one.
That’s how it starts We go back to your house We check the charts And start to figure it out
And if it’s crowded, all the better Because we know we’re gonna be up late But if you’re worried about the weather Then you picked the wrong place to stay That’s how it starts
And so it starts You switch the engine on We set controls for the heart of the sun One of the ways we show our age
And if the sun comes up, if the sun comes up, if the sun comes up And I still don’t wanna stagger home Then it’s the memory of our betters That are keeping us on our feet
You spent the first five years trying to get with the plan And the next five years trying to be with your friends again
You’re talking 45 turns just as fast as you can Yeah, I know it gets tired, but it’s better when we pretend
It comes apart The way it does in bad films Except in parts When the moral kicks in
Though when we’re running out of the drugs And the conversation’s winding away I wouldn’t trade one stupid decision For another five years of life
You drop the first ten years just as fast as you can And the next ten people who are trying to be polite When you’re blowing eighty-five days in the middle of France Yeah, I know it gets tired only where are your friends tonight?
And to tell the truth Oh, this could be the last time So here we go Like a sales force into the night
And if I made a fool, if I made a fool, if I made a fool On the road, there’s always this And if I’m sewn into submission I can still come home to this
And with a face like a dad and a laughable stand You can sleep on the plane or review what you said When you’re drunk and the kids leave impossible tasks You think over and over, “hey, I’m finally dead.”
Oh, if the trip and the plan come apart in your hand Tou look contorted on yourself your ridiculous prop You forgot what you meant when you read what you said And you always knew you were tired, but then Where are your friends tonight?
Where are your friends tonight? Where are your friends tonight?
If I could see all my friends tonight If I could see all my friends tonight If I could see all my friends tonight If I could see all my friends tonight
Although I am my own person, my relationship with my girlfriend of two and a half years has lead to a significant change in almost every aspect of my life such as my behaviors, believes, values, personality, and even my appearance.
i’m totally digging my new and revised sense of self…sense of perspective. i don’t take shit from anyone. not bad attitudes, or any snide remarks. any jab you take at me i will respond to it with love. and if that doesn’t work - let’s just say i’ve never been afraid to speak my mind with every ounce of my honesty.
saying no is still hard. but i am no longer concerned with trying to sway people’s opinions or initial judgements. you either like what i’m about, or you don’t. my friends and i are the BEST. so if you don’t, quite frankly you’re missing out.
call it cocky, call it whatever you want. my spirit is free and i feel powerful, confident, radient. lights are shooting out of my fingertips and my pathway is a glowing circle that encompasses me and just grows and grows.
i freely give and accept love and embrace all flaws. because idiosyncrasies make you unique. and it’s just a conjecture, but i’m fairly certain they make you a better lover. :) i need to do more research…
got to a friend’s house from one of the most ambitious days/nights i’ve ever had.
so much pride, love, wonder, disgust…another man vying, another try. on the dark hilltop with lights flashing, dollar bills on the floor for private lap dances, and people grabbing - it truly hit me just in how much intense pain i am in.
and then a friend, in small moments hints at something more and tells you they want to take of care you…i already feel such great sadness. because i am destroyed. nothing to give this amazing person except more pain broken from within me. holding someone intimately feels selfish.
“Love is a temporary madness; it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of eternal passion. That is just being in love, which any fool can do. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Those that truly love have roots that grow towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossoms have fallen from their branches, they find that they are one tree and not two.”—Louis de Bernieres (via impetrate)