my love of freedom, combined with the lack of restraint has proven destructive.
i no longer believe in selflessness.
unless maybe…you have reached the highest understanding of oneself, then transcendance may allow you to touch down softly in places you never would’ve imagined - because they are planes are in someone else’s mind.
some days i just feel like a feral person. i have to silence myself from my own violence or aggression just so i fit in with the others.
i’m in the deep reaches of space. meant to live in another world. so many people trying to connect. the longer life lived, i relate less and less.
days just keep passing by and i forget what direction i’m headed. living inside an empty bottle of ‘self’. i’ve cracked my innermost shell. no one can sustain me. my ink is ebbing through the flow.
calming the waves must begin fathoms below and i’m swimming in the shallows. there is light beneath me. i imagine there’s warmth. currently i am feeding off the nearly-dissolved organic matter where sunlight never reaches.
rocked back and forth in the dark, i have time to explore. dissociation. delirium. dilution. the outer reaches of being.