BOOTS

i simultaneously love the internet/want to destroy every bit of it.

Whatever time. Time can wait.

— ME

i enjoy my hair so much right now. also I have never felt so much myself, all fiery and free. mood boost.

i am amused that i don’t know what i want. i do and i don’t…

i want to,

be running through a tundra meadow for minutes; looking up, palms up with the sun beating down on my face.

run up to my knees in the river, water sloshing furiously next to a trusty pup.

wake up to a low mist and birds on the porch and read a few pages and fall back to sleep til mid afternoon.

walk alone is the woods on my favorite paths and hang jewels off the low tree branches. sit in the moss and unfurl the ferns.

feel the dirt beneath me; a brief reminder. grounding me so i’m strong and don’t always float away.

thingsorganizedneatly:

SUBMISSION: Jelly Bean series (2 of 5) “Smoothie Blend” (3.5 oz) - flavors in order of appearance: Cherry Passion Fruit; Mandarin Orange Mango; Mixed Berry; Pineapple Pear; Strawberry Banana — K. Emmons 

want

(Source: frenchiehazeleyes, via spookypuke)

pizza pillow

Listen Up, Ladies: Here's Everything Real Men Think Is Wrong With You

slow clap

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004) Dir. Michel Gondry

(Source: grandefilms, via tyemp)

I realize that I treat Tumblr like it’s a private journal that I fill with melodrama as a way to process. I am okay with this…ish. 😳

This has been one of the most off weeks I’ve had in awhile. Physically I am more aware and extremely tender and sensitive. I think something with my nerves is off. I could feel this really intense negative energy very recently coming from a coworker in London that I hardly speak to or interact with. I knew it was him and then others started speaking up.

If I am off balance, I can be a total major insane empath, and be it relativity…first law of thermodynamics, whatever - I took hold of that energy. The insomnia is out of control and I feel fuzzy tingles in my upper thighs where stress is just building a reservoir. I’ve never experienced anything like this. That’s not where it’s supposed to sit.

This weekend acupuncture was beyond insane and I just went to reflexology tonight and while there I kept thinking that I might be dying from all the toxins I felt releasing. Like I have cancer or nerve damage, but obviously this nutso shit has to be in my head.

Call it an LA lifestyle; living here can drive you to extremes. Desperately trying to survive the ego-centric landscape and escape the rat race and get back to nature where you came from. I had years of panic attacks just trying to adjust. Why did I chose this?

I am so into body work and now mental health because the only thing I am is spiritually fulfilled. That is the one thing that sits right with me. I am open and curious and set my intention daily. Mental, physical and emotional well being don’t seem as far as they used to.

This sleep deprived, I can’t be a good mentor at work, I can’t focus on multiple projects at once and I can’t fail at this level. If I let the bottom fall out I would shock myself. Maybe the bottom needs to fall out.

Okay - my last negative expression is just this mass confusion, dead brain cells and anger at myself for not emotionally being able to handle all the shit life is throwing at me. I don’t want to lead and be an example right now. I don’t want to be responsible. I don’t want to deal with pain.

I’m tired of working through this. I just want to be better. To rest in the love that I know that I have for myself and handle my shit. Maybe I’ll try not to let perfectionism ruin the beautiful mess.

Fixed. theme by Andrew McCarthy